Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Fear - writing is scary!!!!
When i used to write earlier, I used to rarely hit backspace. I have just started writing this blog from cell phone and i was not even bothered about grammar and spellings. I was just writing it for my self and was not worried about any weird comments from reader. Then i have got little bit attention from reader and started getting lots of likes,+1's and comments. So i have started taking writing little bit seriously. Still i was writing down thoughts while travelling but used to edit and furnish post before publishing it. I just recall that few month's back , i have got more than 10000 hits for one post and that incident made me over conscious about my writings.
And now, there's more backspace strokes than the space bar strokes! I hardly able to write on fresh topic. I think that i have just started writing more about generic topics than my own thoughts and life. Then i had almost two months when i haven't publish any post. Too much loaded with project work and these were the days when my smartphone battery was lasting an entire day without plugging it into charging. I was hardly getting time to visit this place.
I think work was not only the reason, Points about why I was not able to write were ranging from the fact that I was no longer in the everyday company of people who were inspired me to write, and also it's the fact that the so called 'grown-up' life has very few narrate worthy incidents to share with the world on this platform.
The reason that I zeroed in for not being able to write is the fact that i was scared,and maybe, somewhere at some level, as we grow up, we become increasingly scared of things, scared of getting reviewed and evaluated by people, and this ends up with putting ourselves in our shells and just shut the fuck up! I even got scared by being judged by friends. Scared of losing people in your life, scared of revealing too much of yourself , scared that if you actually do so, people may take advantage of you, scared that you're losing yourself to yourself and there'll be one day when you'll no longer recognize yourself. As i have always said and also write a Post - Writing is scary.... on this topic. But the fact is that the fear you have today, you may not have it tomorrow. And you just keep vacillating between being scared about things and not giving a damn at all.
Have you even noticed child playing around. They don't fear of anything as they are ignorant about probable risk. But as they started growing they started developing fear in them.
Growing up takes away a lot of things from you, one of them is being fearless.
Sometimes the only ray of hope is to have someone believe in you, have faith in you and then you just want to take a giant leap of faith and just dive into your fears. Like a free fall. At the end if it, you'd either be badly bruised with broken ribs and limbs or you'll discover wings you never knew you had all this while.
Really depends on you..... Life is what you make it!!!!
at 6:31 AM