Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Arrogance - result of higher confidence

This is weird topic to choose to write your first blog post in new year. But unlike all my other ramblings this doesn't come naturally during travelling. I was analyzing my last year on the 31st eve with having glass of vodka mixed feelings in my hand and sitting on the parapet of my terrace on the 11th floor. It has been certainly good year for me, lot's of high and achievements with few lows. 

It's amazing that how we live in phases... a little achievement make us happy when the time is right and friends are there beside us... and biggest achievement don't even affect us when there is no one to share it with. It always amazes me that why do we do things for others? To see a smile on their face? Or because that smile makes us feel good. At the end of the day, we look for our comfort zone, and while doing that, we end up making others happy. Or sad. Depending upon the kind of phase they are in at that time. So yes in a way you can say that i am selfish if i make you happy or sad that's i am doing for me. 

It's kinda weird that how our priorities or preferences changed with the age. 

When i was kid... i start loving person just because my best friend loves him or her , no other reasons required. Now I grown up ...and i start hating person just because my best friend loves him/her....again no other reason required. 
It shows that i am feeling more unsecured about my friends now then i was doing when i was kid. 

Huhhh...I feel as if I think in some alien language these days. Yes I have noticed changes in me and someone has informed me too. And they have been drastic. I can sense that I have become more confident now. I was always a very confident person, but I have stepped a level above now. And it's a dangerous position. It almost makes you arrogant. It definitely makes you more narcissist and ultimately hyper active. I became more hyper when something does not go with a way i wanted it. It surely increases the number of your haters. But it also makes you less vulnerable, smarter and cold. You are so cautious about everything that you may prefer losing them than harming your confidence, or emotions - whatever sounds good to your ears. 

Actually human nature is to exaggerate...and i think we exaggerate almost everything. From our position to power, knowledge to foolishness, stupidity to virginity - everything. And as per the most abused area when it comes to exaggeration is our EMOTIONS. Starting from the childhood...We blackmailed our parents when we were kids, we faked tears, threw tantrums, faked smiles to look strong, faked love to not lose something or someone special, faked work pressure and illness - exaggeration kind of became a habit. Many of us are expert in exaggerating things. At times it helps...and...at times it backfires. 

And here goes one more post with ramblings of my over worked mind...actually I think it's a more of habit now .... I talk about vague things on this blog. Way too many things clutter your mind without any reason. And after a point, you feel nothing about anything. It's like being emotionally dead. It maybe a temporary phase or a permanent state. But somehow these things have to be brought out of your system. It depends on you how you prefer to do it. I need to talk. I talk with people, close friends, strangers - whoever I can connect with. And I blog. 

P.S. In other news, unlike the last year i have missed the perfect ending of the year but in the very first week i have compensate it with a bang. It started with Sunday we won a cricket match and on Monday celebration went grand with the movie after office hours.

They say...."Its always better to be with No one than to be with Wrong One " ....I say ...."Actually it's better to be with wrong one ....rather than being with no one..."


Anonymous said...

Dil se likha ??

Anonymous said...

Proud to be an arrogant :-) if it gives positive result...!!!!